Up to four

Ran four miles for the first time since baby last night. For some reason it wasn't even hard. Maybe it helped that Justin was on the treadmill next to me and we were watching Miami play Cleveland for the first time since Lebron switched teams.

I also took it slow. I was doing a 10:40 for the first mile, then a 10:30 for the second. By the third mile, I was doing a 10:00 pace, and on the last mile, I kept gradually getting faster til I hit 8:57 right at the end.

On the third mile, I started getting those post-baby pains. They were totally manageable, but there. Can't wait til that stops happening.

If I weren't getting ready for Makenzie's birthday party tomorrow, I would have tried to do it again tonight. Maybe tomorrow!

Some things aren't fun

I'm a little bit of a Negative Nelly tonight. Or maybe just Honest Abe.

I went back to the gym for the first time tonight since I had the baby.

All the kids were asleep and it was only 8:30 so I took advantage and headed off to the gym.

Before I even left, I noticed the nice ring of fat hanging over my waistband. Cool.

Then I got to the gym.

I forgot how fit those people are.

It's fun being overweight in a sea of supermodels, let me tell you.

Then I started running.

Ahhh, running. My solace.

Yeah right.

The first mile was great.

But after only one measly mile, my abs were killing me.

It's not really any other part of my body.

My abs are just... not in place. They just plain hurt.

I feel like Humpty Dumpty. Except I better get put back together again eventually.

It is so hard not to push myself.

That's what I have trained myself to do. That's what all runners do.

Pep talk yourself: you can do this, just a little faster, just a little longer.

 So to tell myself: you better not go as far as you were planning on, you better slow down... it just feels so wrong! And it's extremely frustrating.

I can't wait to be normal again. I don't know how long it's going to take. I wonder if I will be able to pinpoint it- "okay, I'm normal again." Maybe by six months after baby? I hope so. 

But as humbling as it is, I'm glad I can do it. I ran 3.2 again. It took me 35 minutes. I'll take what I can get, but I am definitely looking forward to better days!

3.2

I got up to a 5k distance on Friday. 

It wasn't easy.

During marathon training, I learned how important your core muscles are for running.

And right now... I have no core.

At least it feels that way.

I feel like I have a hollow, empty space in the middle of my body. 

All of the energy is coming from my legs, and maybe a little from my pumping arms, and it is really hard.

It took me somewhere around 36 minutes. Yep. Slow. I had a big uphill at the end that nearly cut the run short, I was really struggling. But every accomplishment is something right now, I'm just glad to be running again, even though it feels like I'm in running rehab!

I love technology

I do.

I am not a techie type.

But when I do get a new gadget that significantly improves my quality of life, I love it.

Justin and I recently upgraded our phones to the Samsung Intercept. It's not the best phone on the market by any means, but it is 3G and an Android phone so we now have access to the wonderful world of "apps" that I have been hearing about for so long now.

And it's really, really fun.

My new favorite app is My Tracks.

It's an app that keeps track of your distance for running, walking, hiking, etc. and it uses Google satellites for the GPS function. Today was my first attempt using it and I think it's pretty dang accurate.

It records a little map of exactly where I went, tells me my time, distance, elevation, etc. The only downfall is it doesn't tell me my mile pace, it just says I'm going "5 mph" when I would rather it say, "12 minute miles"... or maybe I would rather it didn't tell me I'm going so pitifully slow. But anyway, I digress.

I also downloaded the Pandora radio app, which is about the coolest thing for running EVER.

Do you realize that I trained for and ran a marathon listening to the same songs OVER and OVER again?

Enough to drive a girl crazy!

Today I ran my whopping 18 minutes- 1.56 miles- to Justin Bieber radio. 

And I loved every minute of it.

Thank you, technology.

So far, so good

Went running twice this week.

First on Thursday, a week from my first attempt after baby, and then again today.

Thursday was a grand total of 15 minutes, and today 18.

I don't know what my pace is.

My guess is an 11-something mile pace.

It feels really good.

I'm totally letting my body decide what to do, and I'm really grateful I have even been able to do this much.

Fall is my favorite time of year in Utah and it is just blissful to get out in that warm sun and cool breeze and run again!

I'm back!...sort of

Just finished running.

I just wanted to say that.

I JUST FINISHED RUNNING!

Yeeaaahhhh!

Now before I get too excited, I need to remember that I probably didn't even go a mile.

But it was the best.

Seriously.

Okay, so I'm only 18 days postpartum, so I knew no matter what I couldn't push anything. A slow, short run... to test things out.

I drove down the street to a trail that I rarely run on  (I rarely go there because it is secluded and thus dangerous-feeling).

But secluded was what I needed.

Several neighbors were outside and I didn't want to get any, "what are you doing, you crazy lady who just had a baby?" kind of looks or comments.

And I was so glad to have some privacy because seriously, not 10 steps into it, the biggest smile spread across my face that could not be contained. Not that I wanted to contain it. I couldn't have. I was so happy to be running again I actually started laughing. Yeah... the neighbors really would have started wondering if they had seen that!

But man... it was a moment. One of those few running moments you have that you'll probably never forget. One of those moments when you realize how much you REALLY love this. Turning back was hard. Disappointing. Mentally, I could have gone for miles.

Okay so that was the emotional side of it. Physical side? Not so awesome. This is definitely not the post-marathon body I left behind last fall. For some reason my butt muscles hurt. And I'm heavy. My "abs" are mush. And yeah... I pretty much feel like I just had a baby. But it's okay. I have hope. I know I will eventually get back to where I was... and hopefully much, much better.

Getting Nervous..

So with each passing day, those half marathon plans of mine are looking more and more far-fetched.

Before I had the baby, I was just thinking about whether or not my body could do it.

I was totally missing a big part of the equation.

Time.

In the past, I've run long races in August.

That meant Justin was off work to watch the kids while I ran.

Now he's back at work, working a lot of evenings already, and then you throw in the fact that I'm nursing baby constantly, I just don't see how I, let alone both of us, could train for a half marathon right now.

Don't get me wrong, I still can't wait to get back out and run, and I will do all I can do, but I may have to go back down to my original plan to do a 10k before the year is over. That is seeming a lot more doable right now... we will see!

Baby Day

I'm leaving for the hospital in about 3 hours, and the last thing I thought I'd be doing right now is writing in my running journal.

But I had the most vivid running dream last night that I wanted to record.
I dreamed I was running a 10k 9 months pregnant.
I was telling everyone how I was "due yesterday" and that the baby was safe if the race made me go into labor.

The best part about it?
I was fast.
Super fast.
Faster than I normally am.
I was one of the front runners.
It was AWESOME!

I kept thinking, "Why did I stop running? I had no idea I could be so fast pregnant!"
Pretty funny.
It felt so real.
Until it got to the part where the race went through houses in this abandoned village type thing and one of the houses had stray cats in it that were scratching and biting me.
The race part kinda fizzled after that... guess my subconscious wasn't too keen on the cats.

I think I had this dream because I've been thinking a lot about these half marathon plans of mine.
I had my last pregnant visit to the gym yesterday and just walking on the treadmill for 10 minutes and then the elliptical for 20, I could feel lots of aches and pains and it reminded me of how much it hurts when you start running again after baby. It feels like your pelvis is breaking. I'm getting just a twinge of that right now but it's nothing compared to how I'm gonna feel post-baby!

So yeah, I know it's pretty far-fetched that I will be able to run a half marathon in 2.5 months. It really might not happen. But I'm still gonna try!

Slowing down

Less than 3 weeks to go now, so I wanted to document what my fitness level is like at this point.
I am still going to the gym regularly (every day that I can), but my energy level is waning.
Yesterday I started on the elliptical but after 10 minutes, I switched to the treadmill to walk.
That was my first time just walking at the gym.
I was going pretty fast and was surprised that I still worked up a sweat.
I kept having contractions while I was walking, too, so I made sure not to slow down. :)

But it's pretty obvious that I'm at the end.
Just keeping the house clean and keeping up with the kids is wearing me out.
I'm like a robot going to the gym, habit is the only thing getting me there.
But even though my workout level is light and my motivation is practically nil, I'm glad I'm getting something in and I'm crossing my fingers that it may help me go into labor sooner.

The fever

You know how a few months ago everybody had spring fever?
We knew warm weather was right around the corner and the anticipation was killing us?

Well I've totally got running fever.
I know it's almost here.
Only 5 weeks of pregnancy to go.
And it feels so close, I can practically taste it.

I'm totally patting myself on the back here, but I have been extremely diligent with elliptical training at the gym lately.
Last week we went to the gym every day but Sunday.
I have a cold right now and my head was so hazy all day, but I still made it today and put in my 45 minutes, level 10, sweat like crazy time on the elliptical.

During those 45 minutes, practically all I do is think about running.
Sometimes I get tempted to just stop and switch over to a treadmill, just to see... but then I realize how pointless (and embarrassing) it would be when I have to stop 30 seconds into it, which I know would happen. So I stick to my elliptical, and enjoy the awesome new running playlist I got Justin for Fathers' Day. Sean Kingston is HANDS DOWN the best artist to run to for me. Eenie Meenie Minie Mo Lover and especially Fire Burnin' make me move like you've never seen a pregnant lady move before. :)

Seriously though, I can't wait to have my body back, to have core muscles again, to just take off with no inhibitions and run so hard I think I'm gonna puke.

Half Marathon Plans!

I am SUPER excited to write that in four months, I will be running a half marathon!
I have less than seven weeks left in the pregnancy now, and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Justin has decided to run his first half marathon with me, and we will be running the Provo Halloween Half Marathon on Oct. 30. Since it's Justin's first half, and about 2.5 months after giving birth for me, we've decided to take it really easy, run together and just have a good time.

It's a costumed race, and looks like a ton of fun.

(photo from www.halloweenhalf.com)

This has given me some serious motivation in the gym to get moving on that elliptical trainer! Knowing that race training is right around the corner has totally lifted my spirits. I seriously can't wait!

Dreaming of running

Literally.
I have been having dreams that I'm racing.
It's actually really fun, because I'm never pregnant in my dreams.
But my last racing dream I was carrying my purse for some reason and I kept losing it along the course. Strange.

But even in my waking hours, I've been dreaming about running.
Now that the weather is getting a little warmer, it feels like running season to me and I just want to run so bad.

So I've decided that 2010 isn't over for me, and I will run at least one race before the year is over! Baby is due August 10, and I feel pretty confident I could at least do a 5k by the end of October. It may not be fast, but I will do it!
I just need some motivation in the gym these next two months, and I think this will be the ticket.

Plugging along

It has been a while since I updated.
I have no exciting news, no upcoming races, no running experiences.

I have just been plugging along, trying to be consistent.
I have been to the gym every day this week.
It hasn't been easy, but then again I do have a couple of motivations.
One, summer is coming and I don't know how I can possibly be seen in a swimsuit. Really, my cellulite situation is out of control. Trying to do the most damage control I can.
Two, my sister's wedding is a couple of months after I have the baby and I would like to look semi-normal.

It also helps working out at Lifetime, where half the ladies there look like they just walked out of a Sports Illustrated photo shoot. It's extremely inspiring.

So yeah... I have been getting pretty good workouts on the elliptical and bike, and some good strength sessions and I really hope it's keeping me in good enough shape to start running again soon after I have the baby! We will see...

The switchover

Because of some pregnancy related aches and pains, I've decided it's time to switch off of running and on to the elliptical and bike. Yesterday I did 45 minutes on the elliptical and even though I am supposed to keep my heart rate under 140 (hehe), I still get a pretty good workout. I don't get sore like I do from running, but I'm burning fat and getting my heart going.

A trainer at the gym (during a free fitness evaluation) told me to aim for 3 45-minute cardio workouts a week and 2 strength training. She was 37 weeks pregnant herself, so she knew what she was talking about.

I'm trying really hard to be diligent, but honestly I am just tired. And hungry. Working out almost every day is a real challenge. I have to drag myself to the gym. But you know what? I'm doing it. And I seriously think working out on a regular basis while pregnant is harder than race training! There's no glory, no sweet accomplishments. Just maintenance.

Off I go to barbell class. Hurray!

What it's like at 23 weeks

Right now I am definitely at the point where I am showing, and obviously pregnant, but not huge. I can still run, slowly. I am having pain in my pelvic area after harder workouts, but the doctor said there's nothing to worry about- that the little aches and pains will get worse with each pregnancy.

Joining Lifetime Fitness has been a lifesaver. The kids play in the child center and I can do classes or hit the bike or elliptical. This is what I'm doing most often right now. There is a circuit class on Fridays that I have still been able to do until today. It's one of the hardest group fitness classes at the gym, and even with my modifications, it is still a KILLER workout. But today when she showed us all the jumps/hops/sprints we would be doing, I had to duck out and just hit the elliptical. It was a bit of a bummer, but I'm just at that point in the pregnancy and it's ok.

I have been trying to love spin class. Really trying. So many people have told me you can do that up until the day you have the baby. And I do sweat. I burn. I hate it. But not like I hate running. There's never a high point, an enjoyable moment. My butt bone hurts and the position is awkward. But it gets my heart pumping and fat burning, so I'm just going to have to get used to it.

I have been eating better and exercising more since my 7 lb. weight gain last month, and I weighed about a pound and a half more today. So... oh well. I'm just gonna keep eating healthfully and doing the workouts I can until baby comes. I will absolutely be doing a marathon in 2011, so I'm pretty sure I will lose the weight. Eventually.

Sorry so boring, just wanted to jot down the way things are at this point in my pregnancy!

No more Reese's

Today marks 22 weeks pregnant, so I snapped a quick photo before heading out for a run to document my bulge(s).

Right before my run, I had my monthly OB checkup.
I gained SEVEN pounds.
In one month.
Could you imagine if I kept that rate up?
7 lbs. x 9 months=YIKES!!

My OB jokingly asked if I've had a lot of Easter candy.
I truthfully answered yes.
I must say, those Reese's mini cups are the most deliciously evil little things.
I have obviously had more than my fair share.

So today was a big wake up call.
I don't want doctors to have to tell me I'm gaining too much weight.
I'm supposed to be a runner, right? Not a fatty.
That's what made me realize today, as I thought about it all during my run, that my health is entirely dependent on my running.

When I run regularly, I eat better, I drink more water, I think about my body.
When I don't, I slowly but surely creep into bad habits (like say... Reese's cups between every meal).

So today I ran for 30 minutes.
It wasn't bad, except for carrying all the extra weight.
The prego belly was the least of my problems.
It was my heavy legs carrying my heavy body.
It literally felt like I had those ankle weights you use for leg lifts strapped all over my body.

I have made a resolve to stop making excuses and be more healthy for the rest of my pregnancy.
I know I can do it, I just need to be how I was before I got pregnant.
On with the running and out with the Reese's!

It ain't over yet

Well I'm happy to say that at 20 weeks pregnant, I still managed to run an easy 3-miler on Saturday with Justin. I even pushed Jarom in the jogging stroller. I have such a nice stroller that it almost felt like a crutch more than a hindrance.
I did feel like I might pee my pants for the first mile with everything pounding on my bladder, but I just kept saying to myself, "You JUST peed, you don't have to pee, you don't have to pee."
Eventually it went away and it felt so good to have the sun shining on my face and the breeze blowing on me again.

Holy moly, that felt good

So I don't post in months and now 2 in one day?
I just have to say that I did it, and it was good.

The sun was shining down on me, it was in the 40's (which feels like Spring in Utah), I had my "I gotta feelin'" song going, and I don't know... it was like all the stars aligned and I was happy again.

MAN I have missed running! Especially outside.
I felt like I was reunited with a long-lost friend, I kid you not.
I forgot things in the last few months... like the way my shadow looks with my stubby little pony tail, the way my pace changes with every song, the way I know the exact spot on a few songs I have to switch to the next song to avoid the bad part, the way it feels when you walk in the house and it feels like 100 degrees inside... I missed it all.
Can't wait to run again.

The pregnancy debate

My goodness, I'm so tired of debating this in my head. I'm tired of thinking about it, and I just needed to make a decision. So I have.

My doctor told me I could run, but not to get my heart rate over 145. Guess what? That's impossible. I tried running a 10:30 mile and my heart rate was still too high.

So I decided I wouldn't be able to run while pregnant. I would just have to settle for walking.

But I'm almost 13 weeks now, it's the middle of winter, and the motivation for me to get out and walk is very little. So basically, I haven't exercised regularly for my whole pregancy. I have tried running or elliptical a few times, but since I couldn't keep my heart rate low enough, I just gave up.

No more.
This cannot be healthy.
I'm gaining weight like crazy. My cardio level is going down the drain.
And I'm just not doing it anymore.
I have researched and researched and everywhere I see online, doctors have told their pregnant patients that they can run, just not to overwork themselves and just take it easy.
So that is what I will do.
Easy jogs. No race training. No sprinting. Just nice, easy runs.
There is just no way I can go 9 months with no cardiovascular exercise. THAT is not healthy.
So... yes when I get bigger, I will have to settle for walking, I know that. But while the baby is still teeny, I'm going out for a jog. Today.